Each of us has an identity. Unfortunately, there is the identity you would like to have and be known by and then there is the reality. And it also depends on the audience of the moment. Of course, our identities are shaped by our egos, and our egos are shaped by our accomplishments. The more drastic change to our status quo and in depth the accomplishment or experience, the more likely to make an impression on our inner selves. But does it make an impression on your audience?
That brings me back to Who Am I? To one audience I am a pilot. To the more discerning, a retired Navy Carrier Jet Pilot, who still flies and tinkers and builds. To others I am a manager, with lofty titles that mean little like program manager, vice president, general manager. To yet another group I am a gun guy. Some folks appreciate that, some ridicule it, some fear it. Some folks know I like to shoot photos as well, and the same reactions apply. I used to run in circles that knew me to race cars. And to a very special group, I am known simply as “Grandpa or Grande (Grandpa D).” In all these things but the first and the last, it probably reads way better than it lives.
Certainly in life’s achievements, my experiences as a combat pilot in Vietnam were the application of the most concentrated, focused, highly trained set of skills I would ever hope to possess. In my mind they paralleled those of Olympic athletes in terms of dedication and the outcomes exceeded those of honor and fame, being those of survival and excellence in every day execution. Oh, did I mention the ego thing? Truth be known, if you do not have an air of overconfidence you would probably never face the stark terror of a carrier landing at night, in a thunderstorm, on a pitching deck, in an aircraft made by the lowest bidder.
There is that refrigerator magnet that really seems to understate the obvious, “If I had known how much fun grand kids would be, I would have had them first.” Hard to find anything more fun than watching youngsters grow and learn, knowing you can go home when the diapers are dirty!
In 2012, I once again decided to serve my country, this time as a contractor, in the company of crews the median age of which is less than half my many years. And most of the soldiers all look like kids to me. It is both interesting and disturbing to see where the military is today. But it is also reassuring to know that there is still some heart in the youngest adult generation that understands sacrifice and dedication to country. They sure are not here for the money. My wife, ever the creative author, likes to think of me as her George Washington, having been brought back from a comfortable life to serve my country a second time. Living in a tent in the desert of a country that for the most part exists in the sixteenth century is a stark contrast to my life at home. But it really makes me appreciate the reality of Valley Forge, men without boots, ragged clothes, semi-starved, in the freezing cold, and a commander tasked with raising their spirits and their muskets for another go at the enemy. Go George!
Heading home to a more normal life, with airplanes to build, guns to shoot, photos to take, and a living to make made me realize and remember a few things. I have a loving family with whom to reunite. I consider my self an extremely lucky man to have lived the life I have. I am happily married to a very patient lady that suffers with dignity through my man toy mania. And she has been known to crank off a round or two, is a capable photography of grand babies, and can navigate and read a map as good as any life long pilot.
I have taken away some lessons learned from my many experiences along life’s journey, from small tidbits to the answers for world peace. However, as a youngster I was taught that in polite company we do not talk about sex, religion, or politics. These days it is hard to tell the difference between them, but I will try to avoid those topics and keep it to the fun stuff on these pages. Enjoy.
Oh, there is one other identity one might be known by. That would be my name. I am Tom DeMarino, and I live with my lovely wife and author, Rebecca, in the magnificently beautiful Pacific Northwest. Her website can be found at www.rebeccademarino.com
A Little Columbia Gorge Wine Tasting